I will be the first to admit, pregnancy is really hard, especially with all the extra stress my pregnancies carry with them. But gosh darn it, these babies of mine make me want ten of them! Okay maaaaaybe not ten but maybe just one more? As hard and stressful as my pregnancies are the silver lining is I have had three really great labors. All different, all hard in their own ways but all equally as amazing and special.
Riley's was a little different because we knew months in advance the day he would be coming, well that was if I made it that far, and thanks to the progesterone shots we did! So June 9th was the big day. I'm still undecided if I like knowing when I'm going to have the baby or if I like the surprise... either way I'm always an anxious ball of nerves! We were all set to be at the hospital at 7 pm. My sweet husband and dad gave me a blessing, we hugged Hudson a million times and told him tomorrow would be the big day he'd get to meet his brother and off we went.
I was admitted, got hooked up to the monitors, the IV placed which is always quite an event itself. I have the world's worst veins which makes it quite tricky but of course the third time was a charm! They started some meds and we waited and waited and waited. They gave me the epidural late that night and that is a funny story! So me and needles don't go well together. I used to pass out just getting my blood drawn when I was young and although I have gotten better epidural needles are another story. The needle mixed with my already low blood pressure that goes SUPER low at the start of an epidural is always interesting. So I'm sitting on the edge of my bed and she starts to poke and get the epidural placed when I start feeling lightheaded. So thinking it would be good to give them a heads up I say, "I feel really dizzy... I'm going to pass out." The anesthesiologist says, "No you can't, I'll have to start over!" Somewhat annoyed with her response I start taking deep breaths but it's not helping so I turn to Carl and say, "I'm going to pass out. I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I'm gone" and just like I warned them I was out. Carl was teasing me once I came back with the oxygen mask on my face and feeling good that he wasn't sure if I was passing out or if I was announcing a home run at at baseball game! If you want a good laugh just have Carl tell this story, I cry laughing every time. So once we got that all worked out they upped my pitocin and really started getting the contractions one on top of the other. It was early morning now somewhere around 5ish and my epidural was only working on one side. I had this same issue, same side with Hudson so I'm sure it's just how my body is wired. They gave me a little boost into the epidural and I was able to relax and even doze a little. I tested positive for strep b so I was given 3 rounds of antibiotics which was super comforting because I knew the more time I had to get those in the less chance it would affect Riley during delivery.
Now its about 10:40 am, I distinctly remember looking at the clock at this time because I was calculating how long it would take my doctor to come from the clinic to the hospital because I HAD to push. I've never really had this feeling so distinct before because my epidurals were stronger the other two times but I actually loved knowing what my body was doing more. It helped me feel more a part of it all, if that makes sense? So I had Carl go tell the nurse now was the time, we had to get my doctor there. She came in and was asking questions and there were about 4 people getting the room all prepped and all I could think about was not pushing yet! I asked I think at least four times if they had called him and if he was on his way? Every time it was the same thing, "he'll be here!" Once he walked in the door I was so relieved! He rolled up his sleeves, got dressed and prepped and walked over and one and a half pushes later he was here! I remember after the first push he turned to Carl and said, "WOW! I wouldn't want her mad at me!" So I felt strong and pumped and then the next one came and Carl's face lit up and my doctor said, "stop, stop he's here!" He cried loud, something we will never take for granted after a stillborn, it is THE best sound. At 11:11 am on June 10th our sweet baby Riley was finally here. There is nothing like meeting your baby for the first time, that first time you lock eyes... you both just have that connection like it's been YOU all along!
He was sleepy but latched and nursed well, we snuggled him in our room all day. The most special thing was having Hudson come in and meet him for the first time. He was so gentle and so loving. He has been the best big brother since that moment! One thing no one warned me about was when Hudson had to leave... I have it engraved in my memory the look on his face. He was smiling but his little lip was quivering and tears started to well as he said, "I be brave mommy." He thought we'd all be going home together right then and that was so dang sad. He came and visited the next couple days and we'd snuggle on my bed, watch YouTube videos and snack on yummy treats. You know, all the 3 year old essentials!
Riley was admitted to NICU for his oxygen dropping a little when sleeping but after being monitored for about 36 hours he was discharged to come home with us! Can I tell you how incredible it is to actually bring a baby home from the hospital with you?? Obviously we weren't able to ever bring Crew home and Hudson was in NICU for a couple weeks so that was AMAZING! A couple nights later we and our pediatrician were concerned with his oxygen levels again when sleeping so he was admitted to Primary Children's Hospital to be monitored. After a night there they were able to see his patterns, that he had some "preemie" tendencies with his breathing but that it was all in the safe zone. He would recover on his own which was what they were hoping for. We were so ready to just be home, all four of us under one roof and it has been the very best.
The whole "newborn" phase has gone by so my quicker, honestly too quick for my liking this time around. My mom warned me it goes quicker with every one and so far that is holding true. He is the sweetest most easy going baby. He eats like a champ, is a little on the spitty side some days, smiles, laughs and coos all the time and a very good sleeper. We are so obsessed with him and the sweet spirit he adds to our house. I'm sure every mom feels this way but there is just something so special about him and his demeanor I cannot wait to see his personality grow and grow! We love you Riley Hawkes Fillerup and we are so happy you chose us!