Motherhood

Dress || ASOS Maternity Midi Dress With Pleats

Motherhood looks different for everyone. We all have ideas of how we think we'll be as a mom, how pregnancy will go and things like that, but most of the time it doesn't end up exactly how we planned. It always works out, but at times it seems like that someday is so far away. I've had a lot of people ask about more details or ideas for infertility/infant loss and I never felt Instagram was the place to share that. I've had a lot of you email me and it breaks my heart there's so many going through similar situations but it's also exciting to think maybe I have something that could help!

Let me share a quick background of my journey to motherhood. We were expecting our first baby, a son in 2011. Things seemed to be going great the pregnancy was looking good. At 26 weeks I was up all night trying to get him to move or kick by drinking orange juice, laying on my left side, eating something cold and nothing was working. That morning I called my doctor, they wanted me to come in just to make sure everything was okay. They couldn't get a heartbeat so we did an ultrasound and he had passed away. I was induced that night and delivered him the following day. We decided to bury his sweet body after spending the day holding him with our family and we truly love having a spot to go visit him at. Hudson likes to pick out flowers, balloons or pinwheels to put on it for him too, which is the sweetest. They studied my placenta and his body and found that when I get pregnant my blood clots, which they don't test for normally so there is no way to know till something like this happens. I now take a baby Aspirin everyday and it keeps that from happening. There are a lot of positive benefits to taking one a day so if you're having fertility issues that's one of the first things I'd ask your doctor about!

After Crew we had a miscarriage, then got pregnant with Hudson. I went to the doctor tons with Hudson to keep an eye on things as well as an high risk Parentologist. I went into labor with him at 26 weeks and was on strict bedrest in and out of the hospital till 35 weeks when we delivered him. His delivery was great which was a huge blessing, then that night while we were holding him he went unresponsive and dusky. Carl rushed him down to the nursery where they hooked him up to oxygen and we learned he had sever sleep apnea. He was in NICU for 10 days and came home on small daily doses of caffeine and wore an apnea monitor + SAT probe for a couple months. Despite his rough start he's doing so well and you'd never know he was a preemie in NICU now! One thing I can't stress enough is listen to your gut, your the mom you know when you need to do something. Also... home births... I am all about natural remedies and natural labor if that is your thing but I am very much an advocate for being smart for you and the baby. Our labor and delivery unit has amazing rooms for natural water birth and all kinds of things to accommodate that approach but keep both of you safe at the same time. Find a doctor that you love or a midwife if you want to go that route. You never know what could happen and it is such a comfort to have the options for intervention if needed.

After Hudson we waited a while before my body was ready and before we we felt ready for that whole journey again. I had two more miscarriages then we did more testing. My Endocrinologist and OBGYN work very closely and found that I had developed PCOS. I had no symptoms but after watching and doing ultrasounds we found it was making me cycle one day late. That was causing the egg to implant just a little bit too low and in turn would end in a miscarriage. They put me on Metformin to treat the PCOS and it worked really well for me. As soon as we had that balanced we decided to try Famara, as suggested by my OB. It is a fertility medication similar to Clomid but not as high of hormones to try and get my own hormones stronger so I could hold onto a pregnancy. That was with this sweet baby I am carrying now! I am 26 weeks along, I go to appointments every two weeks between my normal OB and my high risk Parentologist but we are keeping a very close eye on everything. Things have been going really well this time and we feel so grateful for that. I'm doing progesterone shots this time too which I have never done before. Studies have shown they are beneficial for preterm labor like with Hudson and placenta abruption which I had with Crew.

On top of all of the things my doctors helped figure out, I decided I'd try and improve my body as much as I could on my own as well. That is why I believe in natural makeup/skincare, essential oils over simple medications when its possible and I'm a big believer in vitamins. Every day I take a Prenatal, Vitamin D supplement, Folic Acid, Fish Oil, baby Aspirin and Biotin. All such important nutrients for those of us in child bearing years especially! Carl calls my pill case my "fish tackle box" because its so big but thats such an easy way to make sure you don't forget! Also, I know fish oil and vitamins sometimes don't sit well with people, take them right before bed and they won't bother you! 

Feel free to email me your questions but hopefully this can help some of you maybe know what to look into or routes you can take! Don't get discouraged, it will all work out. It is hard, really really hard when it's something you want so badly but I will tell you this... they are so worth it. Hudson was completely worth all we went through to get him here and so will this babe be! Don't get too frustrated and do your own research as well, there are so many great resources out there!